Lost in Paradise
by damn unique
Summary: After the carnival every HiME got the happiness she deserved. For Nao Yuuki it means living in a world where her mother is still in coma. Unable to live a life in Fuuka, she decides to leave for a backpack trip in the US. The odds have it that she's not the only HiME who has been running away from all the memories of Fuuka. Eventually NatNao.
1. Briar Rose

**A/N:** I thought I stopped writing fanfiction. Seems, I didn't. I might continue this and update now and then. I'm doing a lot of stories (one collaboration piece here with Kara Papas and a lot of original works), so updating might not be regularly. Had to get this one out though. I know a lot of you don't fancy NatNao stories. The few who do and hence are open-minded enough for the Mai HiME fandom: I love you. This story will be told from Nao's POV because she damn rocks!

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"**Great heroes need great sorrows and burdens, or half their greatness goes unnoticed. It is all part of the fairy tale." — Peter S. Beagle**

**LOST IN PARADISE**

**CHAPTER 1 - BRIAR ROSE**

There was a time in my life where I was sure that I finally found a purpose to live; something to hold on to. A time, where all the suffering and torment seemed to have reason or at least justification. I thought it was hope. But after all it wasn't anything but pure vengeance.  
Vengeance was what kept me alive. Well, it made me at least feel anything at all. The day I discovered the power I held within me was the first day I've ever smiled again after Mama had fallen into a coma. That sounds almost too beautiful, doesn't it? Falling into something… I should better stick to the facts and rephrase it to: after she was beaten into a never-ending dreamless sleep. When I was younger, one of the nurses in the hospital tried to comfort me during the lonely nights next to the bed of Mama. I remember observing the medical ventilator that was forcing air in and out of her limp body. I squeezed her hand just like I did when I was toddler, and she was saying her goodnight to me before wishing me a joyful journey through paradise. That's what she had always told me; that no matter how awful a day had been we can enter our personal paradise through our dreams. At that time I was amazed what our minds are able to do. What they can create through moments of steady breathing and silence. But with the years I've lost that precious ability. Or maybe I have traded it for a little red star next to the moon, which came just as suddenly as my mother had left. Ever since, I've started using my powers to take revenge, I stopped sleeping the way I used to. The silence had become too loud. It deafened me. Every useless minute was ringing in my ears, and on my desperate way of filling the emptiness I started hating humans with all my heart. Despite filled me up to an extent were I felt like I was poisoned from deep within; as if a vicious stench was piercing through my heart, pinning my soul to the ground.

I'm sorry, Mama. But I forgot how to dream. I can't enter paradise without you, or maybe I'm not allowed to be there anymore. After all, I have sinned. I have taken revenge for something that could never be attained. It probably was nothing more than blind hatred, which I took out on random people who weren't at fault at all. Although, I still believe that all of them had deserved at least some kind of punishment in their own way. But they still weren't the ones that took you away from me. They weren't the ones who beat me out of paradise. Maybe there is a chance to get back, maybe there isn't. I'll never know for sure but still, I am the one who had locked the gate with my actions.

I need to escape. I need to get away from here. I need to find another way. There are too many memories bound to this city and its school. I don't wanna be here for the rest of my life. I'm sorry to leave you here all by yourself. But you won't be all alone. I've asked the nurse if she could do you the same favor she did to me during the lonely nights. I told her that she should read Grimms' fairy tales to you too. I'm sure you'll like them. I still never get tired of hearing these beautiful stories. I hope her voice will be just as soothing for you as it was for me through all those years. I told her not to forget to read 'Briar Rose' to you and she promised me, she will. It's still my favorite story and somehow I have to admit that I still believe that you are somewhere far away, living a happy life as a princess called Briar Rose. Hearing about the moment where the princess falls asleep and all of her surroundings following her even the flies on the walls, struck me like lighting. Everything caught in that one everlasting moment…This is what I felt. This is what I still feel and that's why I have to start moving.  
I promise you I will come back someday, but for now it is farewell.

For now, I have to find the true meaning of my life.

For now, I have to find paradise again.

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**A/N:** Reviews make authors happy.


	2. Greyhound

**A/N:** Wow, I just squeezed this chapter put between sleep and work. I feel exhausted. And yay, I got one review for the first chapter. Thanks Tyronix, because of you, this story lives. Oh and also thanks to sleepycrimsonninja who wrote me I inspired them for a new NatNao fic.

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**_"People travel to faraway places to watch, in fascination, the kind of people they ignore at home." – Dagobert D. Runes_**

**CHAPTER 2 – GREYHOUND**

My escape has taken me quiet awhile and now that I walk out of the airport in this foreign country, doubts start to pull on me like a hollow hand that grabs me by the neck to lead me back to where I came from. For the first time after I've boarded the plane in Japan, I'm questioning myself if I had run too far away from home. But as soon the word 'home' is formed in my thoughts I correct myself. I've promised to stop referring to the city of Fuuka as home. I've done all this travelling to free me from such thoughts and I am not willing to have this plan destroyed during the first minutes of my arrival on this continent. I've heard that America is like another universe to us Japanese. Of course, I did only believe half of the gossip, but now that I am standing here on the ground of the city of Detroit, I am sure that all the stories were true. America is indeed big…Well, not big but huge. Everything seems to be super-sized. Even though, I have just seen the airport I can tell that this is another world. Maybe, I'll be able to find my way back to paradise. The journey starts here.

After a small eternity of walking with my loaded backpack rubbing merciless over the already sore skin of my shoulders, I decide to take a break. I don't know if it was the best idea to come here out of the blue without a proper plan outside of getting away. The little money I brought with me is only enough to get me food and shelter for the next week. I thought that I could think of the rest when I made it here but now that I've accomplished that, I have to say I was a bit naive. I've read on the internet they have a sort of round travel system here called 'Greyhound'. It's basically a bus that covers long distances. I'm determined to go the station and get some info tomorrow. Today I'm simply gonna enjoy LA. I don't want to stay here too long. I can already tell it's too big of a city for me. I need something to calm my senses before they are ready to go on overload again. Maybe I'll have time to enjoy LA before I fly home - whenever that might be. My plan is grabbing something to eat in Venice before finding a cheap place for the night and have my body work out the time zone.

It's almost time for dinner after I've walked two miles to Santa Monica, past Muscle Beach and countless beach volleyball courts. The palm trees, the smell of the Pacific and the Hispanic street sweepers make me realize I've never been this far from home. I stop at a sushi counter on the food court since I don't feel ready for the greasy American food just now. The waitress is super friendly but the coffee is a letdown. How can the world's largest economy still serve dishwater?

I leave the restaurant yawning like a baby. That dishwater did do no good. I need to get my system working again or else I might fall asleep and get robbed on the spot. The sound of the ocean is so tempting that I decide to take a closer look. I'm not one of the tourists who stare in awe when they see the ocean. I had it all the time back in Fuuka and doubt it's any different around here. Water is water, right?

The rough structure of the sand feels like a massage to my blistered feet. Unlike the beach at home there aren't huge cliffs or rocks. Just a whole lot of flat shore. It looks beautiful though. The sun was readying to kiss the day goodbye and painted the sky in a soft orange. The screams of a swarm of seagulls and the crashing waves give me goose bumps. Maybe that ocean is different after all. I put down my backpack and sink onto the warm sand, listening to the ocean's play. Thanks to the already setting sun, the heat is very much bearable. But deep down I feel an urge to dive into the sapphire blue in front of my eyes. I won't give in to it though. I can't afford to leave my belongings behind and it's not like I haven't swam in the ocean before. I should better organize a room at a local hostel and so I turn my back on the sunset while other people stop and stare.

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So this is it? Sharing a room with a bunch of strangers, most of them being stinking men. I feel cheated by my expectations. I thought when I've run far enough away my mind would get that kind of traveler mood everyone's talking about, but I can feel nothing but annoyance by the snoring folk around me. People tried talking to me all day long even though I just wanted to be left alone. Those Americans are just too damn friendly. No sense of personal space. In Japan people would leave you alone and only help and be friendly when asked. Most people didn't get the fact that I really didn't want any company, they thought it was because of my bad English skills, but even as a native I would have told them to fuck off. I definitely leave for countryside tomorrow. I hope the greyhound buses will be able to drop me in the middle of nowhere. Maybe then recreation will set in.

After it took me two hours to fall asleep and one to finally wake up, I find myself in an almost emptied hostel. Most travelers must have left for city tours and the new ones haven't arrived yet. At the reception I find a flyer of the Greyhound bus routes that I studied thoroughly. There are countless choices. These buses nearly get you anywhere from LA. The best route to take – moneywise at least – seems to be San Francisco. My plan is to get off the bus before arriving there since I don't want to be caged in the next big city. If anything, I want to get there on my own. Maybe hitchhiking or working my way to it. I didn't come here to be pampered. I need to go to my limits; or at least find them.

I put the flyer in my backpack and with a city map in my hand, start walking to the Greyhound station. I've never felt so small in my life before. The buildings here are so much higher than in Fuuka. I'm used to temples and stuff, but those are nothing compared to the sky scrapers. Millions of people flood the streets and I'm just one lost face in this world of strangers. A lot of backpackers occupy the station as I arrive 30 minutes before the scheduled departure. I quickly buy a not so cheap ticket for the trip to San Francisco and get informed that the bus doesn't stop in the middle of nowhere. If I want to leave before the final destination, I will have to leave at one of the earlier stops. I just nod with a friendly smile at the lady behind the counter. We'll see if the bus doesn't make unplanned stops…

I walk over to the bus labeled 'San Francisco'. It's – oh surprise – grey with a green dog logo on it. Most of the passengers have already found a seat and I'm a bit worried that I might have to spend my ride on the bottom. Lucky as I am, it seems I've come too late for real. Only one seat next to a very much oversized man is calling my name. I reluctantly sit down and automatically take one last deep breath before starting to breathe through my mouth only. I know he smells even without testing it. It takes another ten minutes before the bus rolls on the road and after thirty minutes we're on an open highway. I automatically inhale while I stretch contently, forgetting the super-sized guy. They say you inhale when you feel the life. Sadly, I feel like dying right now. I hastily go back to breathing through my mouth only and turn away, pretending to be asleep. I had a weird feeling that he was pondering to start a conversation with me and somehow I was lucky enough – thanks to the lack of sleep last night – to fall into a slumber for real. When I woke up again, the bus has already had the first stop in Alvenal and is about to make the second in Gilroy. I feel the strong need to pee and leave Supersize's side. I jump outside the bus and retake all the missing breaths from the ride, which I quickly regret. This city smells odd! I look around somewhat irritated until a sign on the road comes into my field of vision: 'Welcome to Gilroy – city of garlic!' Great! Garlic is still better than sweat and therefore I try to ignore the sharp odor.

There's a neat little diner across the street. The bus driver told us we have forty-five minutes before leaving. Plenty of time to have another dishwater coffee. Who knows, maybe I'm even ready for a burger. I feel brave today. The menu looks good, but I need to go to the restroom first.

When I come back a lot of passengers from the bus seemed to have had the same idea and are ordering lunch. Supersized guy is sitting alone in the corner with menu card in his hand. For a slight second I think about taking pity in him but then sit down on a free table. The waitress comes over serving me a glass of water and asks me if I want to eat something, which I kindly – well maybe not that kindly – affirm. I order a hot dog and some fries and to my surprise it doesn't taste that bad. I guess I can survive on that for a while. The coffee though is another story. But there's always Starbucks, right?

I wolf down the food and then hurry to get back on the bus before Supersize has a chance to enjoy my company again. I also don't know how many new travelers with enter the bus to flee from garlic city. I take the window seat in one of the last rows and look out of the window with a bored expression. At least five new travelers give their backpacks to the driver who loads them in the bus's belly. For a brief second I thought I have seen a familiar face, but of course this isn't possible. Still, it makes me a bit sad to keep hallucinating like that when I thought I've left my demons behind. Especially that demon…

I lean my forehead against the cool glass and close my eyes. An argument in the front row gets my attention and I see Supersize talking to someone sitting on his former seat. He seems determined to keep his place. A girl with long dark stands up and leaves the place with a huff. When she turns around my lungs forsake me for a second along with my brain. There's only one reasonable explanation for this: I must be still asleep… dreaming. Or better said having a massive nightmare, cause there's no rational way to run to the other end of the world and find your mutual enemy in the middle of nowhere. I wanted to leave my demons behind and yet, here she is, walking into my direction in her odd perfection: Natsuki Kuga - my most dreaded nemesis next to the Kyoto witch.

Karma is a bitch.

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**A/N:** Time to share a comment in form of a review?


	3. San Francisco

**A/N:** Yay, four reviews -.- Anyhow, I'm grateful to those who dare to read something that's not ShizNat. I love ShizNat but sometimes there needs to be some NatNao. And there also needs to be some fun. This story turns out far funnier that I had expected. There's just that great chemistry between those too.

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**"Coincidences mean you're on the right path." ― Simon Van Booy **

**CHAPTER 3 - SAN FRANCISCO**

The skin on my left palm is burning from the multiple times I've pinched myself in the hopes of waking up. But the moment those deep green eyes pierce me with a mixture of disbelief and discontent I know that I'm very much awake. Can you believe my luck?

I can tell that Kuga's pondering whether to turn around and run or to keep walking with her head held high. All of the other seats are taken (outside of the one seat – or better said half a seat – next to Supersize) and I know it would be ridiculous not to let her sit next to me, although everything inside of me screams no. Luckily, Kuga seems to be way more immature than I. She turns around with a pout on her face and sits down on the stairs of the exit. What a baby!

I try ignoring her stupid behavior and her presence for the next few miles but it bugs me that she is the one who picked and won the fight. I didn't even have a chance to deny her because she denied me first. Plus, the nagging question why on earth she is riding the Greyhound bus to San Francisco on a foreign continent - not to mention the ONE continent I decided to visit - is burning under my nails. Hell, I'm simply gonna sit this out! My plan is to leave that stupid bus before we're getting to San Francisco anyway.

"Move." I'm so absorbed in my thoughts that I don't even recognize someone's talking to me in my mother tongue.

"Come again?"

"You heard me quite well." I'm roughly shoved aside without further question. The nerve!

"Just as impolite and annoying as ever, Kuga," I say with a glare.

"Thanks." She's got that old familiar icy attitude and doesn't even deign to look at me.

"You're welcome." I turn away and stare out the window again. I could still deny her presence, or at least I thought so. But after another thirty minutes I found myself initiating the conversation again. That damn curiosity! "I'm afraid I'm not imagining things and the trip is still going to take a while… so…why the heck are in the US on my bus?" I blurt out.

"Your bus? I didn't recognize you have 'Greyhound' in your name." She turns towards me and looks me in the eye with an almost smirk on her lips. I have troubles deciphering looks like that from her and feel somewhat insecure.

"And I didn't recognize you riding anything other than your motorcycle in your SM-outfit." Why on earth would I bring up that biker outfit of hers? It must be the dishwater. It was probably poisoned. No more dishwater coffee for me. Starbucks, I await your loving embrace!

"It's called leather-suit and it's for protection."

"Yeah yeah, whatever helps you," - and your weird Fujino- "sleep at night."

"So where is it and why are you here?" I say, referring to her beloved vehicle. It's hard to imagine Natsuki Kuga in the land of Route 66 without it.

"It's in my backpack ready to be worn."

"I didn't mean the outfit! I meant the motorcycle, idiot!" Is she teasing me or just plain dumb? Probably the latter.

"Who knows. You're talking rather strange things. For obvious reasons I couldn't bring my bike here. But I could always rent one, hence, I brought the outfit."

"I didn't ask for your life story. So why are you here anyway? Have you adopted the stalking habit from your precious Kaichou?"

"First of all, you're not very stalkable, so get over yourself and second, I'm here for recreational reasons."

I don't know why but her comment annoys me. Not that I would care if some sick dyke like Kuga would care about my level of attractiveness – I have that proven by guys all the time – it's just that I didn't like her to have the upper hand in our conversation. Being with Kuga has been and always will be a fight. I turn away from her with a huff, showing her that I don't care about her homo-opinion on me and to my delight she leaves me alone for the next thirty miles. I don't dare looking over, but I can hear that she's listening to some music. The song sounds like 'Ordinary world' from Duran Duran – how sappy is that? And I thought my life is bad.

After a while she turns of the music and exhales deeply. What a drama queen. I'm almost tempted to comment on it, but I know she's doing this on purpose. I take out my nail file, pretending to be super busy with filing my nails – like always. I don't think I should be the one initiating the conversation again, after all, she has offended me by calling me ugly and the tactic seems to work. I can feel that she's pondering about talking to me.

"It's funny to meet on the way to San Francisco though," she says, fumbling with the sleeves of her white sweatshirt.

"And why is that?" I answer rather disinterested, not looking up from my nails at all.

"Err, you know what they say…" She's now nervously rubbing the back of her head and giggling. Yes, Natsuki Kuga, famous Ice Queen of Fuuka: giggling.

"What _who_ says?"

"I… I… Nevermind," she stutters.

"You're still a creep, Kuga."

"Am not!"

"Are so."

She furrows a brow. "It's common knowledge that San Francisco is a famous city for homosexuals." The last word is barely a whisper. I can hardly repress a chuckle as her face turns bright red, but I don't want to react like that stupid Kaichou and take the annoyance-road instead.

"What your psychotic girlfriend tells you is not automatically common knowledge," I state and go back to filing my nails.

"She isn't my girlfriend."

"Still leaves the psychotic part." I have obviously hit a weak spot because she immediately turns away from me with sad eyes. It's not my fault that Kuga decided to nominate such a lunatic as her best friend and secret lover. Besides, I couldn't care less if I hurt her feelings. She doesn't care about mine either. Never did.

The rest of the drive and the next two stops we spend in silence and I doubt that she'll be talking to me again after I brought up that oh-so-delicate topic. San Francisco is the last stop left, but it would still take a couple of hours before we get there. We're somewhat in the middle of nowhere right now since the highway was blocked by a traffic jam the bus took an alternate route through small villages and a hell lot of nothingness. Luck is on my side – somehow. If I want to go through with my plan of making an early leave it has to be now. I've already figured out a plan earlier. Preparation is everything. I tell Kuga to move out of the way and she does without further complaints – odd. I'm glad that in a few minutes I don't have to worry about Kuga's strange behavior anymore. As soon as I reach the stairs of the exit, I scream, "Stop that bus at once. This is an emergency!" The bus driver is so shocked that he hits the brake immediately. I somehow manage to keep standing. All heads are now turned towards me in shock.

"I hope you have a good explanation for this, lady or it might-" The bus driver starts, but I cut him of with a terror-thick voice.

"Open the door! Now! I'm a secret agent from the J-DOTS."

"And what is that J-DOTS? I never heard of it."

"The Japanese Department of Travel Security, dumbass. Would you stop asking stupid question and finally open that door? I doubt that your wife would want to have you delivered home in pieces."

The color drains from his face and the door opens with a swooshing sound. I jump out and realize that I still need to get my bag. I sigh. Guess, there's no way around now. I pretend to receive a message on my cell and jump back into the bus.

"Everyone, out! Now! I was just informed that the suspected location of the bomb is in the luggage!"

People start screaming and in less than thirty seconds the bus was emptied out and most of the people have run away as far as possible. The bus driver and Supersize haven't come far due to their extra weight. As I approach the driver he's panting and sweating. I ask him to come back with me to the bus, as I needed his help in that special mission. Kuga is still standing in the bus door looking at me with puzzled eyes.

"Please open up the luggage bin, she's a Japanese specialist for bomb disposal," I say to the driver and point at Kuga.

"Nao, what the heck?!" She jumps out and builds herself up in front of me with crossed arms.

"Don't worry, Kuga. I have things under control." I wink at her and watch the driver open up the belly of the bus.

"Thank you, you may leave now and find shelter for your personal safety." He looks at me anxiously and then turns and jogs towards the pile of people that watch us from a distance. I dive into the luggage and start fumbling. As soon as I have found my backpack, I turn around making a victory sign. "Goodbye, Kuga. It was nice seeing you. Well, maybe that was a lie," I say and start running.

This was easier than I had imagined. I was running in the opposite direction to the terrified passengers and the bus covered my escape just perfectly. I'd be gone before anyone would notice the farce. I wish that backpack wouldn't be that heavy. I could run a lot faster without it. Nothing I could do about it now, though. I would just run as far as my feet would carry me. Next to all the flat land and the dusty ground there's a small belt of hills not too far away. I could set up my tent for the night there and see where my feet will lead me tomorrow. I must have run far enough by now to slow down a little, but as soon as I go from running to a jog, I hear footsteps and heavy panting behind me. Damn those nasty fast-on-feet travellers. I start running again but break down after a few more minutes.

"Fine I give up. The J-DOTS lied to me too. I didn't know before, only after I scanned the luggage-"

"Cut that crap already! What the hell were you thinking?"

"Kuga?" Forget that thing about my luck. "Why did you follow me? Why you of all people?"

"Well, the bus driver tried, but couldn't make it. I told him, I'd run after you and bring you back."

"Not bad. Seems you've learned at least something about lying from that snake-woman." Her gaze darkens.

"What makes you think I lied?" she says dead-serious.

My jaw drops and I start stuttering, "You… you can't be serious."

"Of course I'm not, or do you think I want to get lynched as your bomb-disposal-specialist-partner-in-crime?"

A relieved sigh leaves my lungs. "I didn't know you could joke at all. Since when are you up for such _human _things?"

"There are a lot of things you don't know about me. I'm glad though, cause your expression was priceless." She chuckles. "So what is your plan? Living in the wild?"

"I don't have one. But for tonight, yep, it's the wild."

"Care to have some company?"

"Ugh, do I have a choice?" I say and smile and to my astonishment she smiles back at me. Maybe it's not going to be that bad.

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**A/N:** Next chapter "Bonfire". Feel free to leave a review if you enjoy this story.


	4. Bonefire

**A/N:** Wow, so I think at least five people are reading this. Way to go. I need to continue this for the sake of NatNao-love. There's just too much ShizNat around here. People need diversity. If you're a fan of ShizNat go and read my other ongoing fanfic "To be loved". I'm sorry that updating takes so long, but I have a full-time job, a girlfriend, other hobbies and a lot of other stories (original ones) I'm working on.

**Disclaimer:** Sunrise owns the characters. Rest is mine.

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**Chapter 4 – Bonfire**

"This is just plain sick, Kuga!"

"You really do have issues, don't you?" Kuga looks at me as if I'm the weird one in this scenario. "Where's the problem in sleeping together in one tent?" she asks nonchalantly and bents down to set up the camp.

"First of all, I'm not the one having issues. It's natural to have my guards up while sleeping with my natural enemy-"

"Is this about our HiME-history or the homo-part?"

"Ha! So you are a homo!"

"I didn't say that, I just kept referring to your weird theories. Don't worry though, even if I were one I wouldn't go all Brokeback Mountain on you."

"Uh-huh, and why is that?" I ask but cut myself of. "Okay, scratch that… Where was I? Oh yes and secondly – oh right, secondly was about the homo-part, indeed. You know me too well, Kuga." I grin.

"Fine. I'll sleep outside then." She shrugs and smashes down the flysheet. I look after her somewhat dumbfounded.

"Don't be ridiculous. It'll be freaking cold. Just keep your hands by yourself," I state.

She mumbles something that sounds like 'bipolar' and goes back to setting up the tent. I think that's the least she could do after I allow her in my presence at night. I mean, she basically wanted to kill me. Or was it the other way around?

The sun is already descending and soon we're going to find ourselves in complete darkness. I wonder what my first night here will be like. I don't have to spend it alone, but I can't say that Kuga is my preferred company either. I glance over and watch how she's ramming the tent pegs in to the ground. It doesn't look as if she's doing that for the first time. I feel slightly bad about sitting around while she's setting up our nightly quarter, but I've never set up a tent so far. I decide that it can't hurt to look for some wood to light a fire later and walk over to hills. Sadly, the desert hasn't much to offer, but it should be enough for at least one hour of warmth. I watch as the sun slowly sinks down, melting with the horizon. It looks beautiful and reminds me of the sunsets back home. I hope mama is doing okay and I hope the nurses read the stories to her as I had asked them to do. I've never been away from home for so long, but most of the time, breathing feels easier here.

I grab the wood with a sigh and walk back to camp with an armful of firewood. I present it to Kuga like a Christmas gift.

"Good," she says completely unimpressed. I bet even her damn dog did get more praise than. What a princess! I smash down the wood and sit down in front of it, taking out my nail file. "What about actually lighting it up?" She asks after she's finished setting up the tent.

"Splendid idea. Help yourself," I say and throw my backpack in. Time to prepare my sleeping place. Luckily, the tent is big enough for two and I don't might have to sleep too close to Kuga. She has stuffed her things on the right side and left me enough room to spread on the other. It's so dark by now that I need a torch to set up my things. I cradle up in the sleeping back and change into something warmer. I can't possibly survive the night with skirt. A crackling can be heard from outside and a second later shadows are dancing on the flysheet. I scrape out from my sleeping bag and peek through the tent entrance. Kuga is sitting in front of the bonfire, with a stick in her hand. On the end of it is something wrapped in kitchen foil. I crawl out and sit down across from her. The warmth of the fire feels awesomely good.

"Hungry?" she ask, holding out another stick with a kitchen-foil-something. I give her a puzzled look. "Potatoes," she says not looking at me at all. That one-syllabic manner is going to drive me crazy one day. I take the stick and hold it in the flames. Kuga doesn't seem to be interested in starting a conversation, but I don't feel like listening to the crackling sound of fire the whole night.

"I'm sorry, I destroyed your first gay – or more of second or third - experience in San Francisco," I say. I should have probably done a somewhat nicer approach, but nice is so not my style.

"Don't worry. I'll still have time for that later." She says, her voice dead-serious. But after seeing my dumbfounded face, she grins.

"Really now, Kuga? You are into Ladies, aren't you?" By now, I'm sure she's not only saying all those things just for the fun of it and honestly, I don't know how to feel about it. Somehow, I couldn't have imagined Kuga with a guy anyways. That poor Takeda-jerk would've have been her personal slave. He's such a sissy compared to Kuga. Probably a girl really would look better at her side. She seems like the type who could do the protection job of a guy.

"Don't get your hopes up. You're not my type," she says and pokes around in the fire with another stick.

"Oh, really? Guess, I'm not crazy enough." I've no idea why I feel so offended every time she mentions something like it. She's probably just teasing me back, given that I'm not into girls at all. I'm not into anyone.

"That isn't the problem. You are crazy. Just in a different way."

"Oh, am I the wrong kind of crazy then?" Really, what's wrong with her? Isn't there a way for her to have a conversation without lesbian Kaichou content? I mean, we're adults. There are plenty of topics… Politics and drugs and-

"No," she answers, thereby tearing me out of my thoughts.

"What is it then? Lack of taste?"

"You're not her…" Her eyes trail off into the distance with a sad glance. I can't believe that psycho is still affection her so much. Doesn't Kuga know that this bitch doesn't care about anyone but herself?

"Damn right, I am not! I'd never force my feelings on anyone."

A long silence falls upon us and it seems I'm really forced to listen to sound of the fire for the rest of the night. After the fire had turned to glowing ashes, I stand up and walk into the tent, leaving Kuga behind in her silent tragedy. Why should I care anyway? I didn't fly a thousand miles away from home just to face the same damn problems here. Tomorrow morning I'll head for San Francisco and I'll make sure to do this alone.

The minute I crawl into my sleeping bag, I hear Kuga rustling outside. She's probably putting the fire out. I have to admit it's freaking cold and I'm pretty sure my feet won't make it through the night. A cold breeze flies in when Kuga opens the tent to get inside. I turn away the minute she crawls in, pretending to be asleep. She seems to know better though.

"Why are you so interested in it anyway?" She asks in a whispered voice. As if anybody could overhear us in the middle of that god damn desert. I honestly have no idea what to answer though and just keep silent instead. Kuga is either patiently waiting for an answer or assuming I've fallen asleep. It doesn't feel fair to be such a bitch, but it's too embarrassing to admit that I'm not used to people not finding me attractive. There's no reason for her to know, but it couldn't hurt too much either.

"I'm used to being told by guys how beautiful and hot I am, but since you're not a guy - at least not completely - it's not a big deal. It just confirms your lack of taste." I try to keep my voice steady, but that freaking cold makes my voice shiver. Kuga doesn't make a sound nor does she reply anything. I know that I've made a fool of myself by admitting that I'm used to compliments. But who cares. That girl had seen me way weaker already. I could care less what she thinks of me. I huff and pull up my sleeping bag but to no avail. The wild is more merciless than I had expected and the freezing temperature outside makes not only my voice but also my whole body shiver. As much as I try to keep lying still, I can't seem to stop myself from shaking. My feet are so numb by now that I fear I might not be able to live on the road for too long - given I survive this night that is. Suddenly, a loud howling goes off in the distance. My teeth chatter as if I'm either five or seventy-five years old. God damn this stupid wild! We're probably gonna get eaten by a pack of wolves or whatever is out there. Or maybe I get eaten while Kuga becomes their alpha.

"Don't worry. It's only a coyote."

"Oh, now that's calming me. Dog is dog and I'm definitely more of a cat person."

"Cats are wicked," Kuga says.

"Nope, they are intelligent. They know what they want and love their freedom. Dogs are just plain dumb and would do anything for their owner. That's probably why you like them." I've no idea why I can't stop mocking her. I should really give her a break.

"I just think dogs are cute…," Kuga mumbles and I can hear by the way she says it that she's pouting. That girl is just so unbelievingly cute sometimes. Makes me wanna punch her in the face.

"Well, if it weren't for the stink and the drooling they might be okay once in a while," I say with still chattering teeth. Kuga doesn't reply anything, but starts rustling and fumbling with her sleeping bag. I'm just about to complain about her noisiness when she suddenly presses into me from behind.

"Whoa!" I scream. "I thought you wouldn't go all Brokeback Mountain on me?"

"Would you stop it already? You're freezing. I'm just trying to be nice."

"That's what guys used to say before they rip your clothes of."

"Don't worry, I'm not a guy and I'm not gonna rip you're clothes of."

The warmth of her body feels so good that it's hard to complain about the closeness. Maybe I shouldn't worry. As she said: we're both girls. There shouldn't be a problem in keeping us warm to survive the night. Still, it feels awkward. I mean… this is Kuga. But when she lays her arm around me and breathes out I have the strong need to struggle free. That's just too much. I can feel the warmth of her breathing in my neck. I hold my breath for a few seconds and fight the strong urge to pull away. After a while it doesn't feel so weird anymore and then for the first time tonight, I can feel myself slowly drift to sleep.

"You are," Kuga whispers.

"Mh?" I have a hard time keeping my eyes open.

"Beautiful and hot…," she breaths against my neck before her breathing becomes steady.

My eyes snap open, but I don't dare to make a move. I doubt I would have needed her warmth if she had said something like that earlier. My face is burning in the cold of night until I'm finally able to fall asleep on my first night far away from home, in the arms of none other than my personal nemesis Kuga Natsuki. You wouldn't believe me, if I could tell you, mama.

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**A/N:** I'm still happy about every single review.


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